I love how our lives and our days were Divinely created to offer us fresh starts repeatedly. Each day is new. Each morning we have a chance to make different and empowered choices. Each sunrise offers new hope and new mercy. Well, I’ve decided that…
Today is Affection’s day.
What does that mean, exactly?
Many of us grew up in homes that were less than affectionate. Or homes that were downright devoid of appropriate affection. But…
Today is Affection’s day!
Today, you don’t live under the power of what others have (or have not) done to you, or for you. Although we were created to live interdependently, we will always be let down by those around us – because we are all human – but today, we realize that Jesus gives us the power to intentionally create our own legacies!
So how do we go about doing that? Let’s start with the basics.
We all need touch.
We need to have someone reach out and let us know that we are seen, heard, loved. Whether or not we have our own touch quota met, we can choose to be the source of healthy, soul-filling touch.
Your friends, your spouse, your children need the gift of your touch. Start with a simple pat on the back, or a gentle touch on the shoulder. Hugs are almost always an appreciated greeting, whether it’s been minutes or years since you’ve seen one another! Grow towards long spells of snuggling on the couch while watching a movie or holding hands while just talking.
I’ve been reading the book called “52 Things Kids Need from a Mom” by Angela Thomas, and her second chapter is centered around this issue. Angela confirms that kids NEED their moms to touch them often – a hug and a smile when you first see them in the morning, a gentle brush on their shoulder when you pass in the kitchen, a tender kiss on the forehead when you say goodnight. Whether we like it or not, we are each already passing on a legacy to our kids – will they someday grow up and shy away from hugs from people they love, but not know why? Or will they look back on their childhood and remember many, many such hugs, kisses, tickles and “I love you”s?
Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.
CS LewisIf you feel like you’re in need of more touch from the people you love, open the lines of communication right now. Choose the person whom you feel understands you and cares for you the most, and describe to them what you’re feeling and brainstorm some possible solutions with them. You matter!
Touch is a universal language.
A simple touch speaks volumes about what you feel about a person. Intentionally using this method of nonverbal communication can make a world of difference in the relationships that surround you.
Touching someone can break down boundaries from culture, age, or gender…
Touch can communicate acceptance, forgiveness, friendship, sympathy, comfort…
The way you respond to other’s touch also says a lot! Take some time right now to give thought to how you generally react to the way your friends, spouse, or children touch you, and what your responses are communicating to them. Are you unintentionally communicating that you’re too busy for them? Are you unintentionally communicating that you don’t ever want to hug *that* particular friend? Are you unintentionally communicating that you dislike being close to your children or your spouse?
Touch can heal.
Can you think back to a time when you were suffering, and someone’s touch sped up the healing process for you?
I recently miscarried twins. I went to the ER three times in the span of one week due to complications from the miscarriage. It had been a long time since I’d been in a hospital, and I was stunned by the sterility of it all. You were never touched except to have your IV placed or your blood pressure taken. And even then, it was clear that the touch was not meant to be affectionate or comforting – it was strictly business. But ONE nurse took the time to sit down, talk with me and ask questions because they wanted to know my heart, not because they had a chart to fill out. He provided tissue after tissue as I cried, sympathized with me, and yes – while sitting at the foot of my rigid ER bed, he reached out and placed his hand gently on my feet. He said nothing, but his touch communicated what I needed. I was not alone. I was not just another emergency. I was a person. My pain mattered. And I mattered enough for him to intentionally reach out and touch me and offer what help he could.
I came across this story the other day. Believe it or not – but it’s certainly applicable right now!
Take the Leap! Start NOW to change your habits of affection. Give it a little extra thought and effort and enjoy the benefits that will soon follow in your relationships!
Today, we choose to start forming our own legacies with power and intentionality!
I was so excited to see a post from you pop up on my Facebook page while I was working on my own blog post! I couldn’t wait to open and read it. I knew it would be good so while I was waiting for it to load I quickly shared it on my Facebook to give others the encouragement that I knew your words would give. I have to say I’m not a big touch person. I do good with my kids or when someone’s hurting but other than that not so much. I like my personal space and I know it comes from my past. I knew immediately that I wanted to read the book too so I could learn more things I could to do to improve relationships in general and keep my bond with my boys strong. Thank you so much for your words! The are always uplifting and inspiring! Can’t wait to visit in just over a week and get greeted with a Stacey hug 🙂