“Stolen Joy”. A personal journal entry from Tuesday, November 18th, 2014, 6:50 am.
“You will be sorrowful. But your sorrow will turn into JOY.”
John 16:20
When, Father? When will my sorrow turn into joy? When you come and I get to live with you forever? When I choose to start thanking you despite the circumstances? When the trials are over?
Now?
I am a mess, inside and out. I am angry at people for letting me down. I am angry at my kids for failing. Silly mistakes – they don’t even matter. I am angry at myself for not being a good enough mom, singer, Christian, servant… I am angry at the world. How can You turn this anger into joy?
“THANKSGIVING is the only thing that can HEAL OUR VIEW of the WORLD…
No matter what the headlines shout, the world only has two stories –
Bless God or Curse God.
If you let something steal your thanksgiving, you let something steal your joy.
And if you let something steal your joy, YOU LET SOMETHING STEAL YOUR STRENGTH…
We give thanks not because of how we feel, but because of who He is…
Giving thanks always bringing you home – home to the Heart of God. “
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Is it really that simple? And difficult?
WHY is it so painful to offer thanks when I don’t feel like it?
WHY must my heart rebel so?
Nevertheless…
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Father, because of Who You Are, I will Choose Thanksgiving. Choose Joy. Choose Strength. I will presume upon Your promise that Your Joy will be my strength. (Nehemiah 8:10).
I thank You, Father, for the mess I am inside and outside, for it brought me to you this morning.
I thank You, Father, for people letting me down – it is my own divine opportunity to extend Your grace to them – to yield to the truth that ONLY YOU will not FAIL NOR FORSAKE ME (Deuteronomy 31:6).
I thank You, Father, for my beautiful children who make small mistakes and big messes! I am learning patience. I have an opportunity to become more like You, my dearest friend.
I thank You, Father, for the times that I have fallen short. I always want to fall short. For then and only then do I feel my desperate need for You.
I thank You, Father, for the heartache that this world brings, for it is truly a heartache for my Home.
“For this world is not our home;
We are looking forward to a city in Heaven, which is yet to come…
With Jesus’ help, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God,
that is, the fruit of lips that GIVE THANKS TO HIS NAME.”
Hebrews 13:14-15
And oh so suddenly… my heart has been softened. Just like that. My view is changed, or rather, healed… I can look at my circumstances through this new view, and find that my reactions have made a sharp 180°… I feel that I can now face the day, with all it’s disappointments and messes… and now I am speechless. In awe of Your Great Grace towards my broken and ugly little heart.
Thank You.
Though You Slay Me by Shane & Shane
I come, God, I come
I return to the Lord
The one who’s broken
The one who’s torn me apart
You struck down to bind me up
You say You do it all in love
That I might know You in Your suffering
Though You slay me
Yet I will praise You
Though You take from me
I will bless Your name
Though You ruin me
Still I will worship
Sing a song to the one who’s all I need
My heart and flesh may fail
The earth below give way
But with my eyes, with my eyes I’ll see the Lord
Lifted high on that day
Behold, the Lamb that was slain
And I’ll know every tear was worth it all
Though tonight I’m crying out
Let this cup pass from me now
You’re still all that I need
You’re enough for me
You’re enough for me
