How to find a Christian spouse

Hunting for the love of your life can be a minefield. If you choose a mate incorrectly, you could be sorry for years to come. Find out what the Bible says about finding a spouse – and learn several key truths about this process.

Questions addressed

  • How can I pursue a wife?
  • What role does prayer have in finding a wife?
  • How does prayer help find a husband?
  • How can I find a wife?
  • How can I find a husband?
  • How can I find a Christian mate?

Related Bible verses


Morning. This is the “Why Be Merely Human” video blog. I am a follower of Christ, my name is Ryan McKeel, and I’m currently vacationing in South Dakota with my family at a cabin and RV park enjoying some summer fun. And, it’s July 4th weekend! This morning I wanted to talk to you about finding a wife if you’re a single man or if you’re dating or engaged. Well, it takes work and a lot of emotional “figuring out” and seeking God and pursuing a wife to get a good one. I can’t really say that’s a formula because Proverbs 19:14 says, “Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord.” So no matter how much you work or try, it’s the Lord who ultimately gives a prudent wife to you. I would encourage you though to find a wife if you’re an unmarried man. Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” Other verses I’ve heard of talk about your relationship with your wife being key to God answering and hearing your prayers, so it’s a very important relationship, obviously. I’ve been married 3 1/2 years so I’m still learning a lot, but I’m excited and I have a wonderful, beautiful wife. I wanted to mention that I’ve grown in my understanding of my wife’s beauty. I didn’t fully understand her beauty or see her beauty on the first day of courting (and by the way, I called it “dating” at the time. Courting, dating – I think we might have even called it “dorting” a few times because that was a mixture of the two – it was goofy!) But the bottom line was that I prayed about it, made a lot of goofy decisions about how to pursue women, meaning I pursued ones that God was saying, “No, don’t go for her!” or that I didn’t even ask God about. And knowing that “a prudent wife is from the Lord” means that you need to be praying with the Lord and seeing whom He would have you marry. So I would say that prayer is the biggest tool in your arsenal – being close to God, seeking His word, reading His word, understanding what’s in the Bible that relates to marriage – things like that are really important. I would say that you should not rely too much on your eyes early on in courting or dating, because Proverbs 31 says that charm is deceptive and beauty is passing, and that means that, guys, you are particularly prone to getting caught up in charm and not focusing on the inner beauty that God delights in. God really loves a quiet, beautiful, God-fearing and God-seeking soul, and that is hard to find! I do not think that it’s necessarily common; it should become more common, so, single women, if you’re looking for a godly guy, work on that and ask for God to develop that in you. And men, don’t rely on just what you see because it’s deceitful and you’re not going to find a good wife necessarily just by looking. So, pray hard, ask your friends to pray hard for you also, and men, pursue women! It’s good for a man to be married – “he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord!” So, happy hunting. And women, pray too, because it seems like guys of this generation just aren’t pursuing like they should be. Guys, pursue the Lord, pursue a woman to make her your wife and remember that good things come from the Lord. That’s about all the words I had for this morning – have a good morning and thanks for listening.

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